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Monday, September 28, 2009

To All My Homies in Cell Block E

I really don't know what the title is about, I just had nothing else to say.

So, my elbow has been hurting for quite some time now. I first noticed it hurting in the beginning of May and I am an idiot and cannot stop doing things that continue to aggrivate the pain. I have not been to the doctor (because my work has become very unpopular with the Poultry Freedom Now organization and hence become very underfunded) so I have no idea what is wrong with it. In my professional opinion I have tendonitis, but what do I do for that other than not use my elbow? If I had the ability to hear my body parts talking like my cohort Ace, I am sure I would have heard A LOT of profane words and ethnic slurrs.

New Topic

Why!!!!!!!!! do people care about celebrities lives. I don't understand it. I insincerely appologize to those of you who do, but why. Who cares about what they do with there lives. They date, do stupid things, and say really stupid things. And to you celebrities, why do you think I should listen to what you have to say because you made a movie, or have a TV show. Keep your political and activistic comments to yourself. I don't a crap who you think should be president, whether or not you want gay marriage allowed, or what everyone needs to do to go green. Make your movies (which I love by the way) and then get out of my life. The only form in which I want you in my home is either as a DVD or as a HD sporting event.

My number one "celebrity" complaint is Reality TV Stars. Who are you? Why are you famous? Just because you had six kids at one time, or are very wealthy, or have a totally eccentric personality, or started your own business, or are midgets, doesn't mean anyone should care about your life. Sometimes I wish I lived as an Argentinian Llama heardsman high in the Andes mountains. My days would be all about trying to survive and not filled with this stupid crap. I cannot stand that people actually care about you and want to watch you on TV. GO AWAY!!!!!!!

OK the Argentinian llama heardsman thing was a little too far, but you get my point.

Things that are awesome:

Finding extra money in your pockets after you washed your clothes
The 49ers are 2-1 (and only lost because of an amazing last second Farve play)
HOT showers
Breakfast Sandwiches
Lunch Meetings (if its free and you are getting paid to be there)
Fountain Coke with Ice
Coke in any form of distribution
Free Coke
Going pee when you have been holding it for a really long time
Going poop when you have been holding it for a really long time
Toothless smiles
Going to bed early
Staying up late
Trains
Scotland Yard
Nazi Zombies
Warfish
Getting in your own bed with freshly clean sheets
Getting into a cold bed
The King Kong cone
Taking your boots off after a good day of skiing
Inglorious Bastards
Being a Genious
Having Emotions

Things that Suck:

Having Emotions
Being an Idiot
"Healthy" microwave popcorn
Diet Coke
Accidently letting your kid's forehead smash into the bathroom mirror while you are helping them stand up (sorry duder)
Raisin Nut Bran (but Raisin Bran Crunch belongs in the awesome category)
Pathelogical liars (just stop lying, I don't believe anything that comes out of your mouths even if it is true)
Insecurities
President Obama (get off TV and do your job)
Lazy people/people who wont help themselves.
The new generation of kids who don't know how to do anything because everything gets done for them (they can't even build a simple model rocket, read the damn instructions)

I would like to give a shout out to those of you who actually read all of my bipolar rant, and to Tu Pac. RIP.

Jeans.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jeans- cell block E is missing your craziness! Enjoy the hood down in P town!

TJ and Chelsey said...

Jeans, you are so wise...i dont know why you arent a "blog Celeb" yet. I think that would be awesome!